I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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