Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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