Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
