May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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