I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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