I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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