I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
