Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
