I love black thongs
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
