No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
