Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
