So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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