and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
