you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize