apparently the secret to your success is patron
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
