He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
