I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
