Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize