what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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