I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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