A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
