nut hugger
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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