I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I touched a dick in church today
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
