He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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