i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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