READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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