Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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