oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
