I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize