When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
