You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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