i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
