Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
