My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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