My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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