The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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