hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
