You just made me feel so damn special
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
