some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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