Yo dont text me then not text me
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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