I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
