11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just google imaged poop.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize