Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize