Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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