i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
