I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
