just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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