my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
