I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
how does that bad decision feel?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize