so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
