HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just google imaged poop.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
