you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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