i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
