Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
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