what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
