Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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