He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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