Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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