no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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