I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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