i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
