At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
