quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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